Sunday, August 24, 2008

A Heart Divided

School starts tomorrow! I am so excited about the kids God has placed in my care for the year. This year I will be teaching reading instead of math so it should be interesting as once again I find myself learning right along with the kiddos. I work with the most wonderful, and I mean the most wonderful, people. I truly believe that my school has got to be one of the best places to work in the world. I am excited about the opportunity I have to allow God to make himself known to these kids through me and I am praying that I allow him to do that daily.

However, while I am busy training and instructing the leaders of tomorrow, someone else is watching Karter's first steps. While I am busy with lesson plans and bus duty, Nathan will walk Kaden to his class on his very first day of school.

I guess that this is all so hard because it doesn't fit into "my plan". You plan to be a super mom! I just always imagined being there for those moments, the way that my mom was there for all of them with me.

Several months ago we felt the call to get "gazelle intense" (Dave Ramsey) and get totally out of debt except for our house. Don't get me wrong, the idea of having everything paid off and having money in the bank to have fun as a family and to give to others in need sounds great. I am just having trouble deciding if it is all worth it.

As I sat with Kaden in "big church" tonight I couldn't help but wonder...where did the time go? He has just grown up so fast. I keeping wondering if my time with Karter will go by even faster since I am not staying home with him like I did with Kaden.

I guess no matter what I do my heart will always be divided on this issue. I am just praying that God will work through me to make the best mom and the best teacher I can be.


Flo said...

Rosemary spoke right to us, huh?.....(maybe she was reading our blogs!)

DKS Hearts JYS said...

It's a difficult job, to care for all of God's children (without feeling you have slighted your own). I thank God I know a mommy like you, I thank God I know a teacher that cares for all his children.

Adventures With Kati Ann said...

I can feel your heart and know how difficult it must be for you. I know God will give you continued wisdom to balance being a mom & love on those kids. I'm praying for you today as I know you must be at school right now and missing your sweet boys. May God give you a hug of love today.