Monday, May 5, 2008

Just Me...

This Sunday I came face to face with a major problem in my life. I have become consumed with who "I should be". I often wonder how can I be "super mom". or the wife that has the house clean, dinner on the table, fresh makeup, and passion waiting for my husband to walk through the door in the evenings. How can I be the teacher that is fun, yet inspiring, all while preparing each of my students to pass the beloved TAKS test. Or better yet, how can be the pastor's wife, quiet and yet well spoken, leader of women's ministry, children's helper, choir singer, and just all around supportive to my husband's calling. But most of all I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can be what I think a Godly women should be...early riser for quiet times, bible study queen, prayer warrior, and the list goes on!

Sunday I realized that I have spent so much time thinking and even praying about who "I think" I should be that I haven't stopped to just praise Him, to seek Him, to know Him and just to love Him.

This is a heavy burden...always thinking about who I should be and how I am not measuring up. I am ready for freedom! I am ready to... just be me.

You would think after carrying this burden for so long that I would gladly be willing to give it up. However, I am finding it challenging. It has been a part of me for so long that I almost don't know what to think about or pray about without it.

So I am asking for your prayers in this endeavor as I to learn how to seek His kingdom first...and not just because I think it is what I should do, but because it is what I want to do.

On a much lighter note...I am pleased to announce Karter's latest milestone! Karter is now 6 1/2 months old and he is sitting up! I can't believe how quickly the time has passed. Kaden will be 4 in 3 weeks! Here are a few of their latest pictures.

My big boy!

Can't wait for the real thing!!

T- Ball Time!

Nonnie, Pawpaw, and Karter enjoying T-ball

Kaden will thank me for this later!

Nice Outfit!


Andi said...

Jenna I found this quote and thought I would share it with you.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
~ E. E. Cummings, 1955

It's hard to be all those things the world expects you to be, just be the person you know how to be and the world we love you no matter what.

Amy D. said...

You don't know me, but I linked from a link to a link to you! God has recently been teaching me just what you are talking about. I have been sharing with those I know about a book called, Grace Walk, by Steve McVey. I have recently read it, and now understand what grace really is - it's just what you're talking about. Seeking Him first, then allowing His power to flow through me. I highly recommend this book.