Sunday, October 3, 2010

Where it all started...

"...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act."
Proverbs 24:12

I had been reading about Africa through Katie's blog. My heart was stirred and I was touched but really that was all.

And then one night I stumbled on that verse and things changed. I heard a song by Brooke Fraser that said "Now that I have seen I am responsible, faith without deeds is dead". I knew then that He was calling us to action. My eyes had been opened and now I was responsible to do something about all that I had seen.

Yes, the Lord has called us to adopt a sweet African little girl. I am over the moon excited about it and I cannot wait to see her "God story" unfold as we get closer and closer to bringing her home. It will be a long journey with lots of opportunities to practice patience and to trust in God's perfect timing. But I am convinced that He has so much to show us through this journey to Kenzi.

If I am just honest with you it hasn't stopped there for me. God has continued to open my eyes to the needy, the lonely, the oppressed, the lost, the hurting. All the while, He has also been pulling back the layers that make up my life and showing me that "the rich young ruler" and I really aren't that different. He has shown me that time and time again I have chosen my own comfort and need for things over following Him and sharing His love with others.

Can I tell you that this has been hard and wonderful all at the same time. There is nothing sweeter than to sit at the Lord's feet and to allow Him to teach you and speak to your heart. But at the same time it has been so difficult coming face to face with all of the "stuff" I allow to get in the way of serving God and His children.

For so long I have not even been able to really blog because there is just so much going on in this crazy heart of mine.

Proverbs 27:20 says...
Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of man.

I have found this to be true in my life. As our lifegroup teacher said today...I am kind of like a dog...distracted by anything shiny!:)

I know it is funny, but really I am. In my normal everyday life before God stared opening my eyes I wanted granite counter tops, matching comforters for the boys, beautiful Christmas decorations, name brand shoes, and of course I always want good food!

Now here I am trying to sort through it all. I find myself feeling guilty about buying decorations or pretty pictures for my house (not because I think they are bad) because really what is the good in having beautiful things if there are people dying because they have no clean water?

I know that I can't save the world and that God does not expect me to. But after reading Proverbs 24:12 I do know that He holds me accountable for my decisions and what I am doing with what He has shown me.

So that is where I am...I just want to honor Him with my whole life even if that does mean letting go of comfort and stuff. Would you pray for me that He will direct my path and help me to figure out all that He is trying to show me?

Blessings to you!


Flo said...

Your blog and your heart are so transparent! I can tell you Boog and I have struggled with the same thoughts. Here we are...flagstoning a perfectly fine house. New toilet set on a perfectly fine toilet. You know....the sparkly stuff. I wish I could say we've come up with an answer, but we'd be hypocrites if we said we did. In a perfect Christian world, we would ALL share everything, so everyone's needs are met. In the Bible, God blessed several with fortune. The Proverbs 31 wife worked diligently to meet the needs of her family using hard earned resources. It's all confusing at times....So maybe we both can focus on this: Be wise and diligent with what we have. Give generously to others. Give God ALL the glory. I hope God's joy in this - amazing - situation you have chosen to race in will overshadow any of these emotions of guilt or confusion! You are in my thoughts....

Rosemary said...

Jenna: I appreciate what you and Flo said in this blog; it is great that you guys are recognizing this so early in life; Mark & I have been struggling with these same issues, (and we are a bit older than you)we were talking with a young man that works with Living Water Ministry and he made a statement that led him to the same conclusion about our "American Dream" while restoring a water well for a village in Africa, he said what registered with him as he was coming home, was these people simple "live to live" they don't need $$; if it will not help them raise their crops or give them water, they don't need it; and they are ok with that; we're not ok with anything, we are always wanting a little better, newer, etc., Sometimes, it's just hard; It is all God's, so we just need to pray for wisdom in how to use it.